Grade: C

Because I’m (not-so-secretly) basically a five year old, I love Meghan Trainor. Last week, I stumbled upon a radio interview she was doing to promote her upcoming album. She sounded incredibly excited about her upcoming release, intoning that she believes this album is something her fans not only want but also need. I was pumped.

When I heard “No Excuses” — her first release from the album — I had high hopes. They were dashed.

The single has all of the quintessential Meghan Trainor qualities: funky-ish beat, her trademark rap-singing, a young feel. But, the beautiful thing about Trainor in the past was that her songs not only stood for something, but still told a story, and “No Excuses” fails miserably at that.

Trainor is definitely a big supporter of and speaker for women’s rights: the track that put her on the map, “All About That Bass,” intones “yeah, it’s pretty clear, I ain’t no size two….I see the magazines working that Photoshop / we know that shit ain’t real, come on now, make it stop.” My personal favorite of hers, “NO,” is a masterful picture of women not being able to go out with their friends and not be hit on/harassed by some skeeze: “first you gonna say you ain’t running game / thinkin’ I’m believing every word / call me beautiful, so original.”

“No Excuses,” however, seems to fall back on this precedent. The first and second verses only differ by two lines, and neither really add anything to the song. The chorus repeats the same lines throughout:

Someone else
You must’ve confused me, confused me with
Someone else
You must’ve confused me, confused me with
Someone else
There ain’t no excuses, excuses, babe
Someone else
Your mama raised you better than that

I guess I can probably surmise that the idea is that some person might have maybe like put their hands on her and she’s like, oh you must have thought I was someone else maybe????

But, there’s absolutely no story in this song, which falls far beneath Trainor’s capabilities as a vivid story-teller, as showcased in her previous work. I’m going to keep hope alive that the rest of the album is actually what her fans want and need, because this certainly isn’t. Maybe Spy Kids has had a negative impact on her music.

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