Rating: 2.4/5

This song is laughably bad. I know everyone is obsessed with J. Lo — and she does defy aging, so I get it — but her music is like, never good?? I can’t remember the last time I legitimately heard a J. Lo song on the radio unless it was “Jenny From the Block.” Jenny is a fantastic performer, dancer, and singer, but her original music, in a word, is….wha?

The actual beat and music of this track is pretty decent, and for a lot of dance tracks, I let the lyrics slide because that’s not the focus of that genre, but these lyrics are SO ridiculous that I can’t imagine anyone who speaks English (or Spanish) being able to get past them.

Here are the bullets:

  • “Me and Benjamin Franco stay at the banco”
  • “Yo quiero dinero” (“I want/love money”)
    • Sidebar: I may be wrong about this, but I’m pretty sure the “yo” here is redundant and typically left out in actual Spanish speaking, because the conjugation of “quiero” signals that the subject is “yo” (“I”). This just seems odd, given J. Lo is a native Spanish speaker.
  • “Yo quiero noventa, sí, cincuenta, sí, doscientos” (I want ninety, yes, one hundred, yes, two hundred”)
  • “Soy la Princesa, San Juan, Puerto Rico”
  • Cardi B: “I just want my money, chips, guac, and queso”

So, first off, is two hundred dollars really a lot of money? Maybe she’s trying to make this more relatable to the typical American, but, like, idk J. Lo, $200 seems like what you’d pay for lunch on any given day.

Cardi B’s portion actually has a lot of gems, my favorite of which is “Cardi from the pole and Jenny from the block.” It’s a great nod to their roots, but this also works because I believe Cardi. As a new break-out-artist, money is new to her; I just don’t think J. Lo is that obsessed with her cash.

DJ Khaled doesn’t say much here besides his famous “another one!” at the beginning of the track, but he is my favorite potato human, so I’m glad he’s here.

“Dinero” also does a great job at combining English and Spanish and blending those two cultures, but the rest of the content is just so ridiculous. At the end of the track, “dinero” is broken up so it sounds like she’s saying “I want the D….nero.” I just…does a 48-year-old mom of two not have anything better to talk about?

Sadly, the most apt comparison I can think of for “Dinero” would be Rebecca Black’s “Friday.” So I guess there’s hope J. Lo will end up in a Katy Perry music video!!!

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